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Thursday, Oct. 16, 2003 @ 12:28 A.M. more trying times It's getting worse by the hour. After my previous entry..I went out with my brother and his friends. I just wanted to get out of the house. I mean, it felt good just to laugh and have a good time for a little while. But right after dinner, I called my dad to ask him about my grandpa. My dad said he thought it was too late for us to go to the ICU, but I wanted to go. I'd been wanting to go all day, but I was at school. I told my dad "Me and Henry will just come for a short visit"...and my dad says "Well, why don't you go visit your grandma in the ER?" What the hell? I didn't even know she was in the ER. So I went to go see her. It sucked because they only let in 1 person at a time...and my Chinese is so bad, I have a really hard time communicating with my grandma. My brother or mom have to translate for me. But I know my grandma knows how I feel. I just sat there next to her bed holding her hand..I don't think I've ever done that before. I've never been really affectionate with her..it sucks that I haven't really connected with her until something like this happens. But she's ok though. I think that with everything happening with my grandpa..she's just not able to handle it. It's too much for her. I saw my grandpa again. He looks worse than from yesterday night. I remember when I was younger..he used to seem soo big and strong. He used to tower over me. Now as I'm growing older..I see him becoming more frail. I see it happening to both sets of grandparents. Whenever I get to the hospital..my grandpa's already out of it. My mom said he was awake earlier today. I wish I could see him when he's awake..I hope he doesn't think that I haven't visited him since he's been there. Oh god. I'm so tired. I wish that he'd be okay tomorrow..I wish he'd wake up and the pain would be gone. < | >